at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.