I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
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I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?