Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.