Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My penis needs a shock collar
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.