All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My penis needs a shock collar
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY