I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?