You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.