We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.