I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...