I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.