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Last Night in Illinois (224)

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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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(224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1

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he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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(224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy

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hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube

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my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.

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(224): hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube (630): my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/cxvl

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Whoa, Gary Coleman died

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Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

(847): View more from Illinois

Too soon.

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(847): Whoa, Gary Coleman died (224): Whatchu talkin bout?!?! (847): Too soon. http://tfl.nu/36gw

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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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(224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen

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Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays

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(224): Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays http://tfl.nu/pg2c

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get to allyx's house asap

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Ok is everything ok

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Yeah, theres just lesbians

(312): View more from Illinois

omg yes on my way

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(224): get to allyx's house asap (312): Ok is everything ok (224): Yeah, theres just lesbians (312): omg yes on my way http://tfl.nu/mxwb

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finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.

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(224): finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/xu8i

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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.

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(224): Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like. http://tfl.nu/j59v

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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.

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(224): She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand. http://tfl.nu/cnkx

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I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

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(224): I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home. http://tfl.nu/0j8i

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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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(224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix

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It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!

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(224): It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU! http://tfl.nu/pir9

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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.

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Thats like the definition of a good friend

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(224): You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me. (630): Thats like the definition of a good friend http://tfl.nu/1tf7

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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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(224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u

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Last Night in Illinois (224)

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