so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend