I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
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grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?