Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?