You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.