Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it