He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?