sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range