Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment