Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day