I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.