Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.

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  (225): He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that. http://tfl.nu/0p85
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  If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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  (225): If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/axif
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  Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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  (225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl
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  She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us

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  (225): She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us http://tfl.nu/zfzd
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  i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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  (225): i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/01yr
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  I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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  (225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz
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  True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

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  (225): True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us http://tfl.nu/tf5l
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  I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?

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  (225): I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/j7ur
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  I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?

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  (225): I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty? http://tfl.nu/tsac
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  Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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  (225): Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss.... http://tfl.nu/pts0
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  i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

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  whats a bus flip?

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  idk but apparently i invented it

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  (225): i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip (1-225): whats a bus flip? (225): idk but apparently i invented it http://tfl.nu/n87k
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  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

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  (225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas http://tfl.nu/fkrh
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  Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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  (225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j
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  How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?

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  (225): How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention? http://tfl.nu/dhyh
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  I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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  (225): I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed" http://tfl.nu/96g5
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