I will pee on everything he values.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.