dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw