I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw