What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.