First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.