Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (815)

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?

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  (815): Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers? http://tfl.nu/gqlt
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  But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

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  (815): But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. http://tfl.nu/hgck
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  So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.

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  (815): So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ln4p
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  No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal

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  (815): No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal http://tfl.nu/8ycn
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  i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.

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  (815): i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past. http://tfl.nu/fh9a
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  im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

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  (815): im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again. http://tfl.nu/iwek
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  i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot

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  (815): i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot http://tfl.nu/m7cq
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  Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.

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  (815): Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome. http://tfl.nu/075s
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  It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.

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  (815): It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina. http://tfl.nu/o9qo
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  There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.

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  (815): There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/rw7p
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  sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

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  (815): sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/z8wo
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  I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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  (815): I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time. http://tfl.nu/qrqx
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  Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship

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  (815): Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship http://tfl.nu/xkl4
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  my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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  (815): my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves http://tfl.nu/kwdc
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  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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  (815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr
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