I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.