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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
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