Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (734)

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."

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  (734): It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE." http://tfl.nu/k46u
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  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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  (734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....

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  (734): So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me.... http://tfl.nu/r3jg
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  He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

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  (734): He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge. http://tfl.nu/yr6w
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  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

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  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (1324)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...

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  (734): Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages... http://tfl.nu/0g83
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  Pregnant stripper...not hot.

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  (734): Pregnant stripper...not hot. http://tfl.nu/9fe2
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?

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  (734): What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo? http://tfl.nu/r7wm
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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  (734): The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me. http://tfl.nu/j8wb
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses

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  (734): Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses http://tfl.nu/u4m4
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  He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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  (734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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  (734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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  (734): we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas (810): I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick" http://tfl.nu/jn94
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

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  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (382) Bad night (1197)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time

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  (734): Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time http://tfl.nu/r01i
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