Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (734)

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  If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns

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  (734): If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns http://tfl.nu/c8s4
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  I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting

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  (734): I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting http://tfl.nu/149l
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  Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer

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  (734): Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer http://tfl.nu/g808
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  I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything

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  (734): I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything http://tfl.nu/dkqa
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  By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.

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  (734): By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on. http://tfl.nu/k86o
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  I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.

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  (734): I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue. http://tfl.nu/xccr
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  I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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  (734): I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense. http://tfl.nu/c4vr
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  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

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  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (815) Bad night (2641)
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  I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

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  (734): I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire. http://tfl.nu/kkrz
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  Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher

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  (734): Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher http://tfl.nu/nr2j
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  Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.

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  You raise a valid concern

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  (734): Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point. (586): You raise a valid concern http://tfl.nu/k6mm
  Replies (6) Good night (1441) Bad night (2548)
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  you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"

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  (734): you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover" http://tfl.nu/l7y3
  Replies (34) Good night (4530) Bad night (2299) Order T-Shirt
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  I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

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  you're 26.

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  (313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f
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  i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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  (734): i seriously wanted to pee on her right then. http://tfl.nu/4s0s
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  Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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  (734): Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic. http://tfl.nu/9ab0
  Replies (15) Good night (823) Bad night (2039) Order T-Shirt