Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?