Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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  I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.

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  (724): I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport. http://tfl.nu/pho6
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  I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

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  (724): I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard. http://tfl.nu/gkmc
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  the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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  (724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee
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  some bitch filled my sink with salsa.

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  (724): some bitch filled my sink with salsa. http://tfl.nu/iv44
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  She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.

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  (724): She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring. http://tfl.nu/wizw
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  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

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  You know how to spell recollection?

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  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5157) Bad night (1126)
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  Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.

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  (724): Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression. http://tfl.nu/uaau
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  I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.

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  (724): I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror. http://tfl.nu/s26b
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  Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?

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  (724): Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle? http://tfl.nu/1h10
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  Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.

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  (724): Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately. http://tfl.nu/qxtl
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  Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

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  (724): Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks. http://tfl.nu/a8rg
  Replies (19) Good night (3487) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
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  If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees

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  (724): If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees http://tfl.nu/kant
  Replies (17) Good night (4027) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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  She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.

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  (724): She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her. http://tfl.nu/mjsv
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  I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.

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  (724): I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way. http://tfl.nu/vhtx
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  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
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