Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor