Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (720)

Last Night in Colorado (720)

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Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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(720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n

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It smells like weed.

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We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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(303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb

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I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

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(720): I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls http://tfl.nu/uqfq

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Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.

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(720): Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly. http://tfl.nu/yfkr

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You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(720): You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb http://tfl.nu/rxp6

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Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

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(720): Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls. http://tfl.nu/micp

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you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!

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(720): you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night! http://tfl.nu/g3lv

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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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(720): I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk http://tfl.nu/2ycv

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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

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(720): i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out. http://tfl.nu/xm4r

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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

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Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

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my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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(303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0

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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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(720): He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim. http://tfl.nu/2u9p

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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.

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(720): I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me. http://tfl.nu/g7lo

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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up

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(720): I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up http://tfl.nu/nnr4

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Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend

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(720): Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend http://tfl.nu/9h3j

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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.

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(720): I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time. http://tfl.nu/bucm

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Last Night in Colorado (720)

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