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This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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