he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.