I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am one with the molecules
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been