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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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