this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
