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Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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