Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (602)

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.

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  (602): Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public. http://tfl.nu/i8al
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  One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them

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  (602): One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them http://tfl.nu/t9s2
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  Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.

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  (602): Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds. http://tfl.nu/km98
  Replies (4) Good night (444) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
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  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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  (602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul
  Replies (15) Good night (2263) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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  (602): just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober http://tfl.nu/68n1
  Replies (9) Good night (2765) Bad night (762)
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  I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.

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  (602): I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during. http://tfl.nu/nbdy
  Replies (3) Good night (1847) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

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  (602): I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex. http://tfl.nu/gy7w
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  At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"

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  (602): At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin" http://tfl.nu/p2m1
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  Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.

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  (602): Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress. http://tfl.nu/xjnu
  Replies (14) Good night (6681) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.

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  (602): Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table. http://tfl.nu/8dv6
  Replies (7) Good night (3974) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass

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  (602): It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass http://tfl.nu/mkro
  Replies (10) Good night (2465) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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  (602): Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back http://tfl.nu/8iy3
  Replies (2) Good night (2076) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

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  (602): Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again? http://tfl.nu/01x5
  Replies (4) Good night (3123) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments

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  (602): i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments http://tfl.nu/teyj
  Replies (8) Good night (2267) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?

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  (602): I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon? http://tfl.nu/25nz
  Replies (11) Good night (2231) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt