Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (602)

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

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  (602): You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up. http://tfl.nu/1td0
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  Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

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  (602): Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...) http://tfl.nu/p4po
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  I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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  (602): I think mounting someone proves who's house this is http://tfl.nu/3n41
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  She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.

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  (602): She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal. http://tfl.nu/6tzy
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  literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.

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  (602): literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/38ru
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  Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago

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  (602): Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago http://tfl.nu/ycpd
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  I had to brake up with him.

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  In my experience drinking helps.

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  You dont want to know why?

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  Not really. I want to drink.

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  (480): I had to brake up with him. (602): In my experience drinking helps. (480): You dont want to know why? (602): Not really. I want to drink. http://tfl.nu/mwqo
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  UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.

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  (602): UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle. http://tfl.nu/69ov
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  the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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  (602): the head trauma was worth the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/e9mc
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  Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.

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  (602): Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college. http://tfl.nu/e8jb
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  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2133) Bad night (480)
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  You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.

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  (602): You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger. http://tfl.nu/mosc
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  I demand visitation hours with the duck.

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  (602): I demand visitation hours with the duck. http://tfl.nu/cyd2
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  Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.

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  (602): Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world. http://tfl.nu/6f3f
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  I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.

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  (602): I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off. http://tfl.nu/f702
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