He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash