Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (516)

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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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  (516): Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking http://tfl.nu/xf50
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  It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post

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  (516): It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post http://tfl.nu/8lgm
  Replies (17) Good night (2394) Bad night (671)
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  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
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  My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery

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  (516): My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery http://tfl.nu/njc1
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  why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?

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  (516): why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka? http://tfl.nu/od3j
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  You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.

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  (516): You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween. http://tfl.nu/nl92
  Replies (7) Good night (865) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
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  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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  (516): its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/1ovr
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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  I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.

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  (516): I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great. http://tfl.nu/3h0i
  Replies (14) Good night (2669) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.

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  (516): PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated. http://tfl.nu/z915
  Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (420)
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  you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.

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  right. well we all have our lows.

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  (516): you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk. (1-516): right. well we all have our lows. http://tfl.nu/vj3x
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  my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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  (516): my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing http://tfl.nu/sqvp
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  If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.

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  (516): If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar. http://tfl.nu/qpqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1439) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  will barter weed for kareoke machine...

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  (516): will barter weed for kareoke machine... http://tfl.nu/46ic
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  i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

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  (516): i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets http://tfl.nu/efkf
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  I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book

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  (516): I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book http://tfl.nu/reox
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