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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
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