Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me