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There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
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