Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?