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def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
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