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Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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