Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (509)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig
  Replies (14) Good night (954) Bad night (1699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good. http://tfl.nu/3e0k
  Replies (30) Good night (4824) Bad night (1669) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today.. http://tfl.nu/chp9
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (1634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/ax9s
  Replies (13) Good night (3977) Bad night (1542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery http://tfl.nu/ntn4
  Replies (9) Good night (3021) Bad night (1525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have? http://tfl.nu/03l6
  Replies (23) Good night (2925) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck. http://tfl.nu/vrqe
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj
  Replies (10) Good night (5291) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here. http://tfl.nu/v9yq
  Replies (10) Good night (1083) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested. http://tfl.nu/8mit
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish http://tfl.nu/77ap
  Replies (11) Good night (1913) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad. http://tfl.nu/dn7l
  Replies (11) Good night (1748) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully. http://tfl.nu/j9yb
  Replies (9) Good night (3156) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother. http://tfl.nu/97xz
  Replies (20) Good night (5845) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off. http://tfl.nu/heya
  Replies (6) Good night (226) Bad night (972)