Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.