I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?