I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.