If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success