Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.