MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So vagazzling was a success
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked