He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night