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Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
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